What Does It Mean to Be Confident?

Confidence Lacking to Confidence Abundant

Confidence is the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities. 

 

Why is confidence important? It takes confidence to believe in yourself. It takes confidence to know who you are and not let anyone tell you different. "If you believe in nothing you'll fall for anything" is an often said quote. And it's true, I've been there. I didn't believe in myself or what I had to offer so I believed those who told me I was nothing, I wasn't good enough. But once I raised my confidence I listened and BELIEVED the voice inside my own head telling me I AM GOOD ENOUGH.

That's when I began to realize I was healing and growing and maturing all at the same time. Like a phoenix my old self doubts and fears and insecurities died and a new more mature woman emerged who loved herself more than she thought she ever could. I didn't think I was deserving of happiness. I would self sabotage it. I now realize I do deserve happiness and love not just from others but from myself as well. 

Is it a struggle? Hell yea. Everyday is a battle between me and negativity not just from others but myself as well. I feel like that's the worst. You can ignore other people and delete them from your life, but it's really hard to ignore yourself. We can be our own worst critic sometimes. But that's OK. It takes time and practice to consciously make the decision everyday to love yourself more. To believe yourself more. To heal from whatever trauma may be holding you back. 

 

How do I Heal?

Well, there is no one answer. There are many different starting points. You can seek therapy through a counselor, psychiatrist or life coach. Just make sure you do your research and pick someone who is reputable and that you feel comfortable with. It's OK to "shop around". 

Another option is a more holistic approach. Figuring out what makes you tick, what traumas have you been through and how has it affected your thinking and behaviors. Mindfulness and meditation can help to calm your mind and put things in perspective. 

Also work on building or rebuilding a strong support system. We can be quick to say we are "bad all by myself", but we are not meant to be alone. A strong support system that encourages you along your journey can be the reinforcement you need to keep going, and to reinforce the positive energy around you. 

I believe a combination of all three is needed, but which one you choose first is totally up to you. Everybody's journey is different, different timing, different environments, and different mindsets. Do what works best for you. 

You are enough.

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